November 24, 1997
John Ray
155 Hollywood Avenue
Oxnard, CA 93035
Dear John and family,
I have thought about you and your family frequently over the past few weeks. I know that you were confronted with the decision to donate at a time of overwhelming pain and sorrow. The fact that you chose to give to others during your time of greatest need truly reflects an extraordinary love for your brother Michael, and your fellow man. We are acutely aware of the pain and suffering you have endured since his tragic death. It is our hope that you might find some comfort in the knowledge of how dramatically his gifts of life have improved the lives of the ones it touched.
His heart went to a gentleman who had suffered heart problems due to a condition known as cardiomyopathy. He is doing great since his transplant and is going home soon. He had been on the waiting list since July of 1997. He is married with four children and lives in Fountain Valley.
His liver went to a 32 year old gentleman who had suffered liver damage secondary to cystic fibrosis. He is also doing well since his transplant and will be discharged home soon. He had been on the waiting list since September of 1997. He is married with one child and works as a mass transit director. He currently resides in Apple Valley.
One of his kidneys and the pancreas went to a 32 year old gentleman who had suffered from years of diabetes. He is doing great and the kidney is already functioning well. He had been on dialysis for two years and had been on the waiting list for 7 months. He is single and resides with his family in Riverside.
The other kidney went to a gentleman whose kidneys had been damaged from a disease known as polycystic kidneys. He had been on dialysis and the waiting list for three years. The kidney is working well already. He is married with two daughters and works as a counselor to nurses. He currently resides in Van Nuys.
The tissue bank was able to recover tissue as well.
The very fortunate recipients whose lives you and Michael have amended extend their overwhelming gratitude to you for these gifts of life. They are very aware of the gracious consideration which made it possible for them to rejoin their loved ones in health. On behalf of the recipients, the transplant teams, and SCOPC, I would like to convey our deepest condolences and heartfelt thanks to you. It is our sincere hope that time will bring you peace and comfort in the knowledge that your brother did not die in vain. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to call me at 800 786-4077. I have also included a list of support groups in your area if you need them.
Sincerely,
Melissa Dunbar
Procurement Coordinator
Southern California Organ Procurement Center
John Ray
155 Hollywood Avenue
Oxnard, CA 93035
Dear John and family,
I have thought about you and your family frequently over the past few weeks. I know that you were confronted with the decision to donate at a time of overwhelming pain and sorrow. The fact that you chose to give to others during your time of greatest need truly reflects an extraordinary love for your brother Michael, and your fellow man. We are acutely aware of the pain and suffering you have endured since his tragic death. It is our hope that you might find some comfort in the knowledge of how dramatically his gifts of life have improved the lives of the ones it touched.
His heart went to a gentleman who had suffered heart problems due to a condition known as cardiomyopathy. He is doing great since his transplant and is going home soon. He had been on the waiting list since July of 1997. He is married with four children and lives in Fountain Valley.
His liver went to a 32 year old gentleman who had suffered liver damage secondary to cystic fibrosis. He is also doing well since his transplant and will be discharged home soon. He had been on the waiting list since September of 1997. He is married with one child and works as a mass transit director. He currently resides in Apple Valley.
One of his kidneys and the pancreas went to a 32 year old gentleman who had suffered from years of diabetes. He is doing great and the kidney is already functioning well. He had been on dialysis for two years and had been on the waiting list for 7 months. He is single and resides with his family in Riverside.
The other kidney went to a gentleman whose kidneys had been damaged from a disease known as polycystic kidneys. He had been on dialysis and the waiting list for three years. The kidney is working well already. He is married with two daughters and works as a counselor to nurses. He currently resides in Van Nuys.
The tissue bank was able to recover tissue as well.
The very fortunate recipients whose lives you and Michael have amended extend their overwhelming gratitude to you for these gifts of life. They are very aware of the gracious consideration which made it possible for them to rejoin their loved ones in health. On behalf of the recipients, the transplant teams, and SCOPC, I would like to convey our deepest condolences and heartfelt thanks to you. It is our sincere hope that time will bring you peace and comfort in the knowledge that your brother did not die in vain. If you have any further questions please do not hesitate to call me at 800 786-4077. I have also included a list of support groups in your area if you need them.
Sincerely,
Melissa Dunbar
Procurement Coordinator
Southern California Organ Procurement Center
For those who knew Mike, you knew that he was different. He had his own unique perspective on life. Mike did not have it easy growing up. During school he was always put into special ed classes for learning issues. At the time, no one knew that he actually had dyslexia. All of that definitely gave him a harder time during the early school years. Couple that with our hectic life at home and normally Mike would be wandering away. During the late high school years Mike finally left home. I did not know until later that he went to live with our father Richard Ray. It was probably the best thing that happened to him. He got help from our stepmother, Pat, to learn to read and pass the high school exam. That helped him get into the Army and drive tanks in Germany. He told me many stories about those times. I think he really enjoyed it. Mike also spent time living in Alaska with our uncle Earl. I think Mike could live anywhere and enjoy it. He finally settled down in Garden Grove with his girlfriend. Mike would often call, out of the blue and say "hey, I am on my way over". I would never know when that call would come. But that was Mike, care free. We got together sporadically or we would have the occasional phone conversation when he was in town from his job driving. He told me one day in October 1997, and everyone else, that he obtained a new job and he was moving. He asked me to store his things in my garage for him until he got settled. I told him okay and he said he would probably drop everything off in November. He never dropped off his stuff. Instead on November 14th he rented a large car, drove himself to Las Vegas, and lived it up for the weekend. He came home, wrote a couple of notes and shot himself before his girlfriend arrived home from her night shift at work. I think near the end he was conflicted about many things. After talking to his girlfriend and his other friends, along with other things I uncovered researching why he did it, I think he believed it was better to end his life than face some of the decisions that he made with his finances and his relationship - which to him was like a pressure cooker about to explode. After we decided to take Mike off the ventilator, we also made the decision to donate his organs to help others. The loss and pain I felt in losing Mike prevented me from even discussing this issue for many years with anyone. Recently while cleaning out my home office cabinet, I found the letter below. I had forgotten all about it. Although I still miss my twin brother and his qwerky laugh and unique perspective, I am glad to know that there are others out there who benefited from his life and his death. -JNR
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Michael Christian Ray
(8-14-64 to 11-19-97)
(8-14-64 to 11-19-97)
This is the current organization that evolved from the SCOPC